


Wave of Emotion

by Swimmergirl



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: 19th Century, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Angst, Carnivals and Criminals, Circus, F/M, Idk if this is any good but I need to post, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29359773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swimmergirl/pseuds/Swimmergirl
Summary: Nagito walked down the familiar route, his shoes leaving imprints in the soft dirt behind him. He didn’t even have to think about it anymore, it was like he was on autopilot. He’d walked this path nearly every day for weeks now. He wasn’t sure what kept pulling him to this place, but he could never stay away.-------It's the 19th century, and Nagito Komeada reflects on the sights he sees on his daily walks.
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Nanami Chiaki, Nidai Nekomaru/Owari Akane, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	Wave of Emotion

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I'm not dead. Ok so this is like, for an AU called "Carnivals and Criminals" and the main plot is about a serial killer called "The Slayer". This is just a little side story focusing on a minor character.

Nagito Komeada was an observer.

The boy had made a habit of keeping himself in the shadows of the city. He found comfort in them, the darkness stretching out from the rows upon rows of buildings. Once and a while, a kind person would warn him of the dangers of walking in alleys alone. He never listened. Why bother? It’s not like he was any safer in the light of the streets. 

Nagito walked down the familiar route, his shoes leaving imprints in the soft dirt behind him. He didn’t even have to think about it anymore, it was like he was on autopilot. He’d walked this path nearly every day for weeks now. He wasn’t sure what kept pulling him to this place, but he could never stay away. It was like the circus was a siren, luring him in with its song that carried with him even when he wasn’t there. He sighed, coming to a stop at the edge of the alleyway, resting his hand on the rough brick of the wall. 

It didn’t take long for noise to pick up in the area. Circus performers arrived, some chatting and others alone. 

Nekomaru was one of the first to arrive. The massive man always had an incredible amount of energy. It was no wonder he was hired to manage some of the acts. Nagito had seen him breathe life into even the most tired and dead performers. 

Akane usually followed close behind. The gymnast was incredible, despite her lack of focus and monstrous apatite. She was close to Nekomaru, so much so Nagtito found himself wondering if there was something more between them. 

Makoto Naegi was sad. He’d picked that up early on. He forced a smile, but there was an undeniable agony behind it. He’d seen things, things only broken people like Nagito had seen. But Makoto was still normal. Makoto could go up to people and speak with them whenever he wanted. Makoto could turn to people when he needed it. That was a luxury Nagito could never afford himself. 

Himiko Yumeno was usually late. The girl always looked tired, like she hadn’t gotten enough sleep despite Nagito almost always seeing her napping in her tent. Lately, though, she’d looked... different. Like there was something inside that was compelling her to keep putting one front in front of the other. Nagito had a suspicion he knew what it was, too. 

Kokichi Ouma was a mystery. That was the biggest thing Nagito could conclude. The trapeze artist always tried to keep up this persona of a cynical child. Someone who didn’t trust and couldn’t be trusted. Nagito felt, almost understanding of him. He pushed people away if they tried to get too close. At least, that’s what he was trying to do with the detective. 

Speaking of, Shuichi Saihara was a relatively new face to the circus. Despite only being there a couple of weeks, the secretary had already seemingly made two friends. Well, one and a half. Kokichi insisted they weren’t friends, much to the other two’s disappointment. Still, it was always the three of them that left the circus together days after the Slayer’s latest murder. The detective was interesting. There was something in his eyes that made Nagito feel like he was hiding something in them. Something he never wanted anyone to see. He often caught those eyes staring at the acrobat, however. Nagito wasn’t sure, but the feeling was almost... familiar. It twisted his chest a bit, the thought of it. Either way, the group was certainly a point of interest for him. 

But they all paled in comparison to their leader. Hajime Hinata was the most breathtaking sight Nagito had ever seen. The ringmaster who worked day in and day out to bring joy to others. Nagito had seen him some days, barely able to stand up straight after a long night of planning and budgeting and god knows what else. He was stubborn to a fault, but it was admirable. And the faces of the people who came to the shows... the utter elation and hope in their eyes was absolutely stunning. It stirred something in Nagito. Something that made him feel like maybe there was a reason to keep going, to get up each morning. Even if it wasn’t for himself, some of that hope couldn’t help but be contagious. 

The circus was one of the only times Nagito Komeada found himself with a genuine smile. 

And the brunette passing by was the cause of it. There were a few other people, all of them having a conversation about something or other. A paper was clutched in Hajime’s hand, and from what Nagito could see it looked like a draft of a flyer. Was there a show coming up? Nagito stepped out a bit from the alley, the sun shrinking his pupils to adjust to the sudden change in light. His pale eyes followed the other boy’s movements, intentionally avoiding the light haired girl standing beside him. Chiaki Nanami. His... best friend. But Nagito knew it was more than that. 

He saw the way he looked at her. The way his eyes lit up when she spoke, his smile widening whenever she suggested plans for them to hang out together. Hajime had a series of freckles that were scattered across his face, and to Nagito they were more beautiful than any of the stars in the sky. And his laugh... oh god, his laugh. The noise was loud, and he knew the other was embarrassed by it, but it made Nagito’s chest flutter. It was like the music he’s heard at the Jabberwock bar, but even more joyous. 

His eyes traveled upwards to Hajime’s face. His eyes were a stunning yellow-green, and they stuck out from the reds and blacks of his outfit, which-

All of a sudden, they met. 

It all happened so fast, Nagito couldn’t properly process it. He blinked, almost as if he was expecting it to change, but it didn’t. 

Hajime tilted his head a bit, and his hand lifted to give a half-awkward wave. He turned back to one of the others, saying something along the lines of “Can we get them in by Thursday?”

Nagito’s breathing stopped for what seemed like hours. He finally snapped out of it, eyes flickering to the side for a moment. He moved his own arm as well, eyebrows crinkling as a sad smile found its way onto his face. Hajime’s eyes lingered on him for just a moment longer before his attention turned back to his coworkers, and stayed there. Nagito stepped back, fully concealing himself from sight as he leaned up against the dark alley wall. His hand moved to his chest, and he could hear the beating of his heart against his palm. 

He... he looked at him. 

He knew he was reading too much into it, but there was an undeniable pang of emotion that exploded from his chest through his entire body. He was... so torn. 

On the one hand, he was happy. Just seeing Hajime tended to do that to him. They’d never locked eyes before, Nagito could never bring himself to approach him. He wasn’t worthy to even be in the presence of someone as amazing as Hajime. 

That was it, wasn’t it? No matter how much he wished he could, no good would come of this. He was a terrible person. Terrible for even letting himself think about being so selfish as to want to come between him and Chiaki. Terrible for thinking of dragging him into the luck cycle that got everyone he’d ever even tried to care about hurt. Terrible for thinking of ruining both of them by admitting how he felt about another boy. 

Despite all this, he always came back, didn’t he? He knew it did him no good, that there was no point. All this was doing was slowly killing him inside day by day. But he couldn’t keep lying to himself. 

He wanted this. He wanted _him..._

But as he watched him go, he could only settle on one thought. 

_What's the point in wanting what you can never have?_

**Author's Note:**

> Sobs I hope this fic makes sense let me know what you guys think in the comments. Also Water if you're reading this I'll never be over that comic you made of this it was so good but OW. But yeah feel free to yell at me in comments :,)


End file.
